"What's a bridal shower if you're gay? It's the parade of gifts you'll never get cause you're homosexual. Come in and take a look at the blender, toaster, silverware you'll have to buy yourself!!! I hate that. I don't bring a gift
anymore, I take one. I have six cuisinarts. I don't give a shit... they owe us."
- Suzanne Westenhoffer
"I can't help looking gay. I put on a dress and people say, 'Who's the dyke in the dress?"
- Karen Ripley
"If male homosexuals are called 'gay,' then female homosexuals should be called 'ecstatic."
- Roberts' Rules of Lesbian Living by Shelly Roberts
"Pronouns make it hard to keep our sexual orientation a secret when our co-workers ask us about our weekend. 'I had a great time with ....THEM.' Great! Now they don't think you're queer ~ just a big slut!"
- Judy Carter
"Men often say, 'Women! Who could ever understand them?' Don't ask a lesbian for the answer. All you'll get is a
- Joanne Brigden
"My mom blames California for me being a lesbian. 'Everything was fine until you moved out there.' 'That's right, Mom, we have mandatory lesbianism in West Hollywood. The Gay Patrol busted me, and I was given seven business days to add a significant amount of flannel to my wardrobe."
- Coley Sohn
"My lover asked me if I wanted to have children. I told her I didn't know, but we should keep trying."
- Suzy Berger
"When my mother found out I was gay she sent me to Juvenile Hall. That's smart. Sending me to live with five hundred girls who can't get out!"
- Kat Howard
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