Lesbian Quotes

"What's a bridal shower if you're gay? It's the parade of gifts you'll never get cause you're homosexual. Come in and take a look at the blender, toaster, silverware you'll have to buy yourself!!! I hate that. I don't bring a gift
anymore, I take one. I have six cuisinarts. I don't give a shit... they owe us."
    - Suzanne Westenhoffer

"I can't help looking gay. I put on a dress and people say, 'Who's the dyke in the dress?"
    - Karen Ripley

"If male homosexuals are called 'gay,' then female homosexuals should be called 'ecstatic."
    - Roberts' Rules of Lesbian Living by Shelly Roberts

"Pronouns make it hard to keep our sexual orientation a secret when our co-workers ask us about our weekend. 'I had a great time with ....THEM.'  Great! Now they don't think you're queer ~ just a big slut!"
    - Judy Carter

"Men often say, 'Women! Who could ever understand them?' Don't ask a lesbian for the answer. All you'll get is a
sympathetic nod."
    - Joanne Brigden

"My mom blames California for me being a lesbian.  'Everything was fine until you moved out there.' 'That's right, Mom, we have mandatory lesbianism in West Hollywood. The Gay Patrol busted me, and I was given seven business days to add a significant amount of flannel to my wardrobe."
    - Coley Sohn

"My lover asked me if I wanted to have children. I told her I didn't know, but we should keep trying."
    - Suzy Berger

"When my mother found out I was gay she sent me to Juvenile Hall. That's smart. Sending me to live with five hundred girls who can't get out!"
    - Kat Howard

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